Its just a bad day. Not a bad life.

When I began 'planning' this blog, my original thought was to not write in this every day unless I absolutely needed to. 
Today, a few things have been weighing on my mind for, really, no particular reason I suppose. There have been a slew of pregnancy announcements, or gender reveals, etc. on Facebook lately which always leaves me empty, so maybe that's the case.

Unfortunately, most of the announcements are from my own family, so I can't escape them. Good for them - Bad for me. Anyway, I'm making this post to let you know what few things I hate the most about going through infertility. Obviously, the not being able to have a baby naturally, or maybe not at all, is at the top of my list.

This next part, could be considered a little insensitive. To that I say, I'm sorry if I offend you.

First, NOT getting a positive pregnancy test 4 months in to trying, is NOT infertility. It's normal for couples to take at least a year before getting pregnant. If you don't get pregnant within a year of ACTIVELY trying, see your OB. Maybe you're not timing right, etc. Get checked. Figure out what's going on. This doesn't always mean you're infertile!

Secondly. Infertility and having a miscarriage... are NOT the same. Both of them are devastating to whom ever goes through them, and I would never downplay a miscarriage. I couldn't even imagine going through one. I remember just THINKING I was having one, and how much it hurt. I still don't know for sure, and I never will. But, please, do not ever compare a miscarriage to knowing how I feel about my infertility. 

Thirdly. 90% of the time... Your advice seriously SUCKS. I'm sorry, it just does. Do NOT tell me to relax, or adopt, or get drunk. Do not tell me it will happen in 'Gods' time. Do not tell me everything happens for a reason. I understand that you possibly think you're helping. The truth is, you're not. Telling me to relax is about as beneficial as telling someone with diabetes to relax and their sugar condition will magically disappear. Infertility IS a MEDICAL CONDITION. End of story. 

Lastly, for now, telling me "You can have one of mine!" or "Take my kids for the day, you'll change your mind!" is just mind blowing to me. And when you say things like that  - You make me realize how ridiculously crazy this world really is. YOU can have children... But I can't? Women who kill their children by any means can have children.. but I can't? Women who are ungrateful can have children. I can't. Do not tell me everything happens for a reason. There is no reason for child abuse and death. No reason at all.

I really appreciate you trying to talk to me, and the fact that you're trying to understand my situation. But instead of bad advice that I've heard before, wish me the best. Tell me you'll keep me in your thoughts. Please, if you do not have actual advice from your own set backs with infertility, stick to the above mentioned.

I know there is more I could add to this. I could probably type all night. But, I am mentally drained after the day I've had. I appreciate all of you SO much that took the time to read my first entry, and maybe even this one. The comments and love you showed on Facebook are really kind and makes me feel better about starting this in the first place. So again. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

-J