Saturday, March 1, 2014

Expectation is the root of all heartache.


3DPO.

I've been feeling pretty terrible since my ultrasound. I've been SO mad that my body finally decided to do something "right," and ovulate on its own. I was SO ready to do IUI. 

With A leaving in 9 days for 4wks (for his new positions training period) if this doesn't work this month I'm going to be so so angry, and I won't have him here to support me through yet another failed cycle. That makes me so anxious.

A HAS been making me feel better though and giving me more hope than I should have since we somehow "accidentally" timed being together perfectly. It seriously could not have been better timing.. Even the nurse practitioner said the same thing. Sperm should have been up there just waiting for that egg. All the comments she said about my lining makes me feel better as well. I am VERY cautiously hopeful.

I will say that I have ovulation symptoms and I know for sure I've never experienced these in all our years of trying! So, for the sake of things, and myself, I've decided to write down all of my DPO symptoms just so I can be ready for whatever the next cycle brings(I have to know whats normal for my body or I'll spend all day obsessing about every little thing).

*EDIT: These symptoms are from Progesterone. NOT pregnancy! To my knowledge, a fertilized egg wouldn't have had the time to implant yet!
So here it goes, beginning with ovulation day!

2/26/14: Ovulation day! 1:30am - SEVERE pain in both ovaries and abdomen, it actually felt like my abdomen was 20x its original size. Super bloated.. Hurt to walk. Had to take Tylenol since I was at work.
2/27/14: 1DPO - (Ultrasound confirms early ovulation) My boobs are SO sensitive and tender. They itch like crazy - Not sure if that's a sign or if the weather here is causing them to dry out (much like my face!). Had slight "cramping," feels centralized to my ovaries. Still bloated, and had a TERRIBLE headache. I read online these are all symptoms (minus the itchy breasts) of ovulation, so guessing its progesterone that's causing me to feel like this.
2/28/14: 2DPO - Very moody today. Mad about everything (the early ovulation makes me angry). Feel nauseous when I eat, still bloated, breasts are still tender and very sensitive. Still VERY itchy. Still having slight twinges (cramps?) in my abdomen (maybe due to bloat?). Still super tired no matter how long I sleep. Actually fell asleep in the car while going to get food with A. Headaches. TMI, but also gassy. And I am NOT a gassy person unless you count burps.
3/1/14: 3DPO - Still having twinges (or cramps), still having that full bloated feeling in my lower abdomen (uterine area), still a tad nauseous, can't seem to eat as much as usual, breast are still tender, sensitive, but not as itchy as the last two days. Still very tired, falling asleep on the couch and had two naps today.


And that's it so far. Its 12:01am here, so I'm now considering myself 4DPO. I'm going to continue to track my DPO symptoms to see if and when they go away before AF starting showing signs of coming. I'm expecting my period way earlier than I've ever expected her since I ovulated early. I usually always have a 14 day luteal phase, so that would put me at March 12th or 13th for a cycle start. 

Somehow, I'm still crossing my fingers she doesn't come, even though it seriously seems impossible.


-J

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