Someday, its gonna make sense.

CD 12.
I had my ultrasound to check my follicle growth this morning, and I left work early so I could shower and such beforehand.The ultrasound was at 8:20 and I seriously love my RE's Nurse Practitioner. She is so sweet, and even offered to take extra photos for me if there were good follicles so A could see them, since he wasn't able to get off work in time to come with me.

Crazy thing is, I had the terrible abdominal pain very early in the morning on the 26th, (I was at work at the time) and I actually had to go downstairs to take some Tylenol to relieve the pain. My ovaries hurt so bad! After about an hour, the pain was gone, and by the time the tylenol wore off, the pain was gone. I haven't felt ANYTHING down there since.

I texted A this morning that I had the worst feeling that I ovulated early because of that pain, and my ovaries were not hurting like they were last month on just the Femara. 

Anyway, back to my ultrasound - My lining was "absolutely perfect," (in the nurse practitioner's own words). Next she checked my right ovary - Not a single follicle in sight. Nothing. There was a tiny what she called 'cyst' that could have had a follicle, but just didn't grow. So we went over to the left!

And there was nothing. There were empty sacs, and she called them "corpus luteum." Here's a quick explanation I found online about what a corpus luteum is:

"The corpus luteum, which means yellow body in Latin, is what is left of the follicle after a woman ovulates. During the follicular phase of a woman’s cycle, several follicles develop under the influence of FSH (follicle stimulating hormone). Each follicle contains an egg. In a typical cycle only one egg will become mature enough for ovulation. When a woman ovulates the egg will burst from the follicle. Then what is left of the follicle will become the corpus luteum.
The corpus luteum produces progesterone. Progesterone makes the lining of the uterus thick for implantation and is necessary to sustain a healthy pregnancy. The corpus luteum produces progesterone until the placenta begins to take over progesterone production around ten weeks gestation."


So basically, from what she saw today, she thinks I ovulated yesterday, probably at the time I was having the bad pain in my abdomen, and from the looks of the corpus luteum's, and the thickness of my lining, she thinks it was a REALLY good egg, and that my body realized it as such and decided to do what it's supposed to do, and release it. So I guess that's good news, but I'm hitting myself for turning down A's advances yesterday because I was thinking about him having a good count if we got to go through with an IUI. We did "get together" twice on Tuesday, so now all I get to do is cross my fingers that somehow there were dudes up there fighting to fertilize that 'good' egg. 

I feel like I'm searching for hope in the dark now, and yet, I know I'll just continue to keep looking.

 -J