Love harder than any pain you've ever felt.

3DPO.
I had my ultrasound last Friday the 21st (CD10). I had an 18mm follicle on my right ovary and a *drum roll* 22mm on my left! Woohooo! Days ahead of schedule too! So instead of doing my last two days of Menopur injections, they told me to go ahead and trigger that night! So I gave myself the injection at 6pm.

A drove home from Atlanta to pick me up for the weekend - He got home around 1:30am. We left the same day at 9:30am to head to Columbus for his bowling tournament. Got to Atlanta around 2:30am on Monday morning.

Annnd I just got home from my flight a few minutes ago. Our dogs were super happy to see me :)

Anyway, even though I triggered, I'm not sure if I ovulated on the 22nd or the 23rd like I'm supposed too after the trigger. I was having a lot of abdominal pressure/pain and cramping on the 22nd but I had the same effects on the 23rd. Since I triggered though and you're supposed to ovulate 36hrs after the shot, I'm counting the 23rd as O day, which puts me at 3DPO. 

I actually had to sit and think about what day I was on, which is wonderful. The best way to keep my mind off of what may or may not be happening down there. 

Now I just have to keep myself busy for 14 days, until I fly back down to be with A.

I left half my heart in Atlanta, and I cannot wait until it's whole again.

-J

Where there is love, there is hope.

CD 3. 

Femara cycle #3. Calling RE today to get my prescription, then we'll have the same plan as last time, except I'll be going in for my ultrasound on CD10 instead of 12 since I ovulated on CD11 last time. 

A will be leaving on Sunday for Atlanta, then he'll be driving back up here next Friday to get me, then we'll go to Columbus for his Bowling tournament, then we'll drive back down to Atlanta together, and on Tuesday morning, I'll jump on a plane to Detroit to come home. I know, sounds confusing, but we planned it this way, since I'll be ovulating that weekend, so we can hopefully time it perfectly! 

Fingers crossed. 

-J

I am half agony, half hope.

10DPO
Its about 2am so I'm now considered 10dpo! I'm still continuing with my DPO Progesterone symptoms, as I wanted to know when they start to fade so I can be prepared for next cycle, and not 'symptom spot' so much. It has made this two week wait that much slower. Anyway, here goes!

3/5/14: 7DPO - Kept waking up due to being so hot, and sweating a lot. Woke up twice due to nightmares. They were awful. Later in the day, had a low grade migraine. Had a sharp pain that started on the left side of my uterus and ended on the other side. Was SO quick, I wouldn't have noticed it had I not of woken up from the first nightmare. Very very mild cramping. Nothing like AF pain. Acne is still being awesome to my face. My breasts are still mildly tender, but fading. Nipples are sensitive. Finally noticing a very small amount of CM. Tired, but chalking this up to waking up so much and the nightmares. Very moody, and so irritable.

3/6/14: 8DPO - This sounds so stupid in words, but while driving home from my allergy appt., had a weird 'wave' like feeling happen in uterus. Honestly, felt like an orca did a flip in there, and created a wave. That's really the best way to describe it. On and off very mild cramping, and acne is starting to diminish. Bloat is still raging on. Had mild heartburn, still tired, was gassy (probably from poor food choice), and had several headaches through out the day. Breasts are no longer tender, but nipples still feel sensitive. Still have a small amount of CM. Still very irritable and moody. I'm snapping at my poor husband for minor things like making me repeat myself 4 times and I normally do not do that.

3/7/14: 9DPO - Symptoms are definitely on their way out! Sensitive and itchy nipples, and just have an overall heavy feeling in my uterine area. Ovaries keep giving me very mild pains intermittently. CM is still present but very slight, just like usual when AF is on her way. Having very mild cramping again today. I think I've had mild cramping every day since O. Still WAY lighter than AF ever feels. Still ridiculously bloated, probably where the heavy feeling is coming from. Still moody, a bit gassy (again food choices), minor headaches, and have a backache today, but chalking that up to so much walking at work the last three days.

And there's that for now! I woke up a bit ago, and wiped and there were two extremely tiny pink lines on my TP, but A and I did "get together" earlier, so I'm guessing that maybe because I wasn't very accommodating, that he tore something. Definitely not feeling like it was IB or anything. I wouldn't even test until AF shows up if I didn't have to, but I need to be able to get my order in so my injections get here on time.

I feel out this cycle. Like 70/30. 70 being agony, 30 being hope. I guess no matter what, hope really IS all we have left sometimes.

-J

Make your life worth loving.

6DPO.
I just wanted to update quick with the last three days of progesterone symptoms. Still waiting for them to fade away - I'm guessing within the next few days, then AF symptoms will take over. Usually about 4-5 days before she shows. I might not even notice when they switch over! Guess we'll see!

P.S. - If you're reading this, leave a comment - Let me know you stopped by! I would love that! Lets me know I'm not alone in this. :)

3/2/14: 4DPO - I am SUPER irritable today. Everything is making me angry. Extremely moody/cranky. Still having what I think are cramps. Nothing like AF, only really notice them when I'm sitting. Not discomforting or painful. Just there really. My breasts are still itchy, just not as bad. Still very sensitive and tender. Despite not drinking much, I was peeing a LOT today. Seemed like every half hour for a few hours. I had kidney stones not too long ago, and I believe one is trying to pass - I'm blaming frequent urination on this fact. Had a lower backache, guessing its from sitting here for awhile typing notes. Really tired still. Very nauseous, especially after eating and drinking anything with flavor to it (cran-grape juice). Still have minor bloating, and horrible heartburn.
3/3/14: 5DPO - Nausea, VERY moody again today, still having extremely minor cramping. Again, really do not notice unless I'm sitting. Sometimes when I cough, my ovary is painful. Not sure what that is about. Still tired, but I can't sleep for long periods today, so I'm chalking fatigue up to that. Still having horrible heartburn. Nothing seems to stop it. Very mildly bloating (expecting this to be gone in a day or so), breasts are still tender to the touch, and sensitive, but do not seem to be that itchy.
3/4/14: 6DPO - Have a pressure down low today. Still mildly bloated, just feeling heavy really. Had more acne pop up today. I never get acne except on medicated cycles. Woke up with cramping, found out it was due to (tmi) gas. Still having horrible heartburn, not as much as yesterday. Thinking it might be dairy products that add to it. Have a lower backache, still tired. Breasts are still sensitive, and the sides are painful today. Itchiness has returned. Still getting nauseous after eating and drinking things with flavor. Doesn't last long. Very quick - Maybe 30mins or so. 

Just like my last tww, this one is going as equally slow. Maybe even more slow if that's possible. I had to go to an allergy doctor the other day due to a re-occurring rash on my neck, so I have a patch allergy test on my back and the masking tape they put on to hold it in place is super irritating and itchy. That gets taken off tomorrow and I cannot wait. 

A was supposed to leave for training this upcoming Sunday, but will not be leaving the 16th instead. I'm kind of glad. At least if I ended up pregnant this cycle, he might be able to come with me to my first ultrasound. My RE likes to do an ultrasound after confirmation (beta testing) to make sure everything looks good before he releases patients to their regular OB. 

I'm so hopeful this is it. Its been such a long hard road.

-J

Expectation is the root of all heartache.

3DPO.

I've been feeling pretty terrible since my ultrasound. I've been SO mad that my body finally decided to do something "right," and ovulate on its own. I was SO ready to do IUI. 

With A leaving in 9 days for 4wks (for his new positions training period) if this doesn't work this month I'm going to be so so angry, and I won't have him here to support me through yet another failed cycle. That makes me so anxious.

A HAS been making me feel better though and giving me more hope than I should have since we somehow "accidentally" timed being together perfectly. It seriously could not have been better timing.. Even the nurse practitioner said the same thing. Sperm should have been up there just waiting for that egg. All the comments she said about my lining makes me feel better as well. I am VERY cautiously hopeful.

I will say that I have ovulation symptoms and I know for sure I've never experienced these in all our years of trying! So, for the sake of things, and myself, I've decided to write down all of my DPO symptoms just so I can be ready for whatever the next cycle brings(I have to know whats normal for my body or I'll spend all day obsessing about every little thing).

*EDIT: These symptoms are from Progesterone. NOT pregnancy! To my knowledge, a fertilized egg wouldn't have had the time to implant yet!
So here it goes, beginning with ovulation day!
2/26/14: Ovulation day! 1:30am - SEVERE pain in both ovaries and abdomen, it actually felt like my abdomen was 20x its original size. Super bloated.. Hurt to walk. Had to take Tylenol since I was at work.
2/27/14: 1DPO - (Ultrasound confirms early ovulation) My boobs are SO sensitive and tender. They itch like crazy - Not sure if that's a sign or if the weather here is causing them to dry out (much like my face!). Had slight "cramping," feels centralized to my ovaries. Still bloated, and had a TERRIBLE headache. I read online these are all symptoms (minus the itchy breasts) of ovulation, so guessing its progesterone that's causing me to feel like this.
2/28/14: 2DPO - Very moody today. Mad about everything (the early ovulation makes me angry). Feel nauseous when I eat, still bloated, breasts are still tender and very sensitive. Still VERY itchy. Still having slight twinges (cramps?) in my abdomen (maybe due to bloat?). Still super tired no matter how long I sleep. Actually fell asleep in the car while going to get food with A. Headaches. TMI, but also gassy. And I am NOT a gassy person unless you count burps.
3/1/14: 3DPO - Still having twinges (or cramps), still having that full bloated feeling in my lower abdomen (uterine area), still a tad nauseous, can't seem to eat as much as usual, breast are still tender, sensitive, but not as itchy as the last two days. Still very tired, falling asleep on the couch and had two naps today.

And that's it so far. Its 12:01am here, so I'm now considering myself 4DPO. I'm going to continue to track my DPO symptoms to see if and when they go away before AF starting showing signs of coming. I'm expecting my period way earlier than I've ever expected her since I ovulated early. I usually always have a 14 day luteal phase, so that would put me at March 12th or 13th for a cycle start. 

Somehow, I'm still crossing my fingers she doesn't come, even though it seriously seems impossible.

 

-J